Blessings for Couples Who Love Each Other
ShareIssued as a handbook for Pastoral Workers to guide them in applying the German Episcopal Conference's decision to allow blessings for couples in homosexual and other irregular unions, going beyond the faculties given in Fiducia Supplicans of Pope Francis.
2025 German original of this document
2024 letter made public in response to this handbook
Blessings Strengthen Love |
“The Church wishes to proclaim the message of the God-given dignity of every person in word and deed. This message guides her in her interactions with people and their partnerships. Therefore, she recognizes and offers support to couples who are united in love, who meet each other with full respect and dignity, and who are prepared to live their sexuality with mindfulness for themselves, for each other, and with social responsibility in the long term. There are couples who ask for a blessing for their partnership. This request is based on gratitude for experienced love and the hope for a future accompanied by God.” 1 Based on this concern, the Synodal Assembly of the Synodal Path of the German Bishops' Conference and the Central Committee of German Catholics (ZdK) issued the recommendation to To enable blessing ceremonies for couples who do not wish to enter into a sacramental church marriage or for whom such a marriage is not open.
The topic of blessings for couples has been a concern for the Catholic Church in Germany for some time. Couples not married in the Church, divorced and remarried couples, as well as couples in all their diversity of sexual orientations and gender identities are, of course, part of our society. Many of these couples desire a blessing for their relationship. 2 Such a request is an expression of gratitude for their love and an expression of the desire to shape this love through faith. Until now, there has been no general guidance on how pastoral caregivers can best address this request. The Synodal Assembly therefore stipulated that proposals for this, jointly developed by the German Bishops' Conference and the Central Committee of German Catholics (ZdK), should be published promptly. ...to present the framework conditions and guidelines for the celebration of blessings. The present handbook fulfills this mandate.
In the meantime, the global ecclesial context surrounding this matter has undergone significant change: On December 18, 2023, the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, with the approval of the Pope, published the Declaration *Fiducia supplicans*—*On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings* (FS). In it, a departure is made from the previous categorical refusal to grant blessings to couples for whom a sacramental marriage within the Church is not possible. 3 In order to give greater expression to the pastoral approach of Pope Francis’s pontificate—even in this matter—it is the declared intention of *Fiducia supplicans* to coherently integrate "doctrinal aspects with pastoral aspects" (FS 3).
At the same time, the Declaration encourages a deeper reflection on, and appreciation of, the significance of blessings in general. Indeed, blessings "invite us to grasp the presence of God in all the events of life, and remind us that, even in the use of created things, we are called to seek God, to love Him, and to serve Him faithfully" (FS 8). Echoing Pope Francis, *Fiducia supplicans* reminds us that, above and beyond any individual blessing, Jesus Christ Himself is "God’s great blessing." He is God’s great gift—"a blessing for all of humanity; He is a blessing who has saved us all" (FS 1).
Thus, a request for a blessing is always accompanied by thanksgiving and praise for God’s goodness and greatness, for His gifts and benefactions, and for the gift of life and love (cf. FS 10, 15, 29); “The request for a blessing expresses—and nourishes—openness to transcendence, piety, and closeness to God across a thousand concrete life circumstances; and this is no small matter in the world in which we live. This is a seed of the Holy Spirit that must be nurtured, not hindered.” (FS 33)
The text of the Synodal Way expresses this in a very similar vein when it points out that, in the request for a blessing made by couples, it becomes evident “that people wish to shape their relationship within the horizon of God and, in doing so, orient themselves by the Good News. Strengthened by the blessing, these couples make their Christian faith and their relationship with God fruitful within their partnerships, families, circles of friends, and communities, thereby sowing the seeds for further blessings within and for our Church.” (SW 20, No. 21)
In our culture and society—where human dignity, equality, and self-determination are held as high values, and which therefore demonstrates broad acceptance for diverse forms of couple relationships grounded in love and responsibility—the idea first articulated in a magisterial document by *Fiducia supplicans* can only be reinforced: that everything in such a shared life and in such relationships which is “true, good, and humanly valid [is] enriched, healed, and elevated by the presence of the Holy Spirit.” (FS 31) For whenever people ask for a blessing, they are thereby expressing a plea for God’s help to enable them to live out the values of the Gospel with greater fidelity (cf. FS 40).
“This request should be valued, accompanied, and received with gratitude in every respect ...be received.” (FS 21) At the same time, blessings—as expressions of faith—enrich the life of the Church and deepen the understanding of the relationship between God and humanity. Thus, blessings become “a pastoral resource that is to be utilized.” (FS 23)
On this basis, the following practical guidelines emerge:
• In accordance with the resolution of the Synodal Path, blessings may be conferred by both ordained ministers and persons holding a specific episcopal mandate for liturgical services. (SW 20, No. 7)
• With regard to the situational design and wording of the blessing, *Fiducia supplicans* relies on the experience, pastoral prudence, and pastoral sensitivity of those conferring the blessing. (FS 35 and 41) All persons requesting a blessing are to be met with an attitude of appreciation and respect.
• *Fiducia supplicans* explicitly draws attention to the fact that no prerequisite applies to the request for—and the conferring of—a blessing other than a shared trust in God’s assistance. (cf. FS 12 and 25)
• Pastoral ministers who, nonetheless, come to the conviction that they cannot reconcile a blessing with their conscience—or who feel uncertain in this regard—should refer the couple requesting the blessing to supportive individuals or resources (e.g., diocesan representatives for Queer Ministry or Marriage and Family Ministry).
• Appropriate continuing education programs should be offered for pastoral ministers.
• As resolved, the experiences gained from blessings for couples who love one another will be evaluated. (cf. SW 20 No. 10)
• Blessings for couples who love one another can—and indeed should—be characterized by greater spontaneity and freedom with regard to the specific life circumstances of those requesting the blessing. For this reason, no officially approved liturgical rites or prayers are prescribed for these blessings.
• These blessings should be designed in such a way as to avoid any confusion with the liturgical celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage.
• The act of blessing symbolically enacts an encounter between God and human beings. It should be made clear that people are asking for God’s blessing upon their relationship—a blessing that is reliably bestowed upon them.
• Blessing is, at the same time, an act of the Church, which places itself at the service of this encounter between God and humanity. The Church takes seriously the couple’s desire to place the path of their future life under God’s blessing. In their request for a blessing, the Church recognizes a hope for a relationship with God—a relationship capable of sustaining human life. To encourage the couple in this hope, all those participating in the blessing should—in collaboration with the presiding minister—contribute through acclamations, prayer, and song, insofar as is possible.
• The blessing requires careful joint reflection that takes up the couple’s wishes and concerns regarding the specific setting and appropriate design, integrating them in a theologically meaningful way. The greater spontaneity and freedom inherent in these blessings should be paired with meticulous care in their preparation.
• The manner in which the blessing is led, the choice of venue, and the overall aesthetic—including music and song—should all bear witness to a deep appreciation for the individuals requesting the blessing, for their life together, and for their faith.
• Through words drawn from Holy Scripture, the connection between God’s saving action and the blessing becomes evident. Therefore, biblically appropriate texts—suited to the specific situation—should be recited, and where appropriate, expounded upon during the blessing ceremony.
• The prayer of blessing addresses the God attested to in the Bible, commemorating—through praise and thanksgiving—His history with humanity and all of creation. The petition for a blessing upon the couple should follow this. The prayer of blessing concludes with an act of praise to God. Upon those whom God blesses, He causes "His face to shine." Holy Scripture affirms this conviction (cf. Num 6:24 ff.). To be blessed by God means to walk one’s path through life beneath God’s loving gaze. We neither must nor should walk this path alone. We are permitted to walk it alongside the people God places at our side, surrounded and sustained by the great community of believers throughout the ages.
1 Resolution of the Synodal Assembly of March 10, 2023: Action Text on Blessing Ceremonies for Couples Who Love Each Other, in: *Der Synodale Weg*, 20. *Resolutions of the Synodal Way of the Catholic Church in Germany*, ed. by the Secretariat of the Synodal Way (Bonn 2023), 283 (full text: 283–290; cited as: SW 20).
2 “In pastoral practice, it has become a widespread experience that couples who love one another in a same-sex relationship express a request for a blessing upon their partnership. Couples who have remarried civilly—and who are venturing a new beginning in a new partnership—do likewise. This is also done by couples who do not yet consider themselves ready to receive the Sacrament of Marriage. Often, in doing so, they accommodate the particular circumstances of a partnership in which only one partner is a believer or has close ties to the Catholic Church. There is also a growing experience of unbaptized couples asking for a blessing.” (SW 20, No. 13)
3 Cf. the *Responsum ad dubium* of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith of February 22, 2021 (AAS 113 [2021], 431–434).